#thehungrydater

If you’ve been around a few months, you know that we’ve been discussing the law of attraction and how to use it to create the love life you’ve always wanted.  Before The Hungry Dater re-discovered itself, we focused a lot on the dating part of relationships and talked a lot about “surviving” it.  Little did I know, my focus on survival mode meant all the universe handed me was things I had to survive.

Recap

Last month we talked about our language and the fact that how we talk, think, and project about ourselves is exactly what we end up getting back from the universe.  If we use self-deprecating humor, or describe ourselves as “chronically single,” that’s exactly the kind of life we’re going to continue living, as the Universe provides us with exactly what we “ask” it for.  Further, if we continually talk about how we’re “happy in our single lives,” the Universe will keep us in those lives because an object in motion stays in motion, and it would be too hard to change our trajectory, so why try if we’re already so happy?

Language is Just the Start

So now that you’ve taken a good month to review and change your language about yourself and your love life, you’re ready to start changing other things to help attract your perfect life.  Language is a key point, but it’s just the start.  Once you change your language, you then have to start showing the Universe what you want as well.  That generally comes from three things:  Gratitude, Visions, and Affirmations. Then, to round the whole process out, you have to do the work to get exactly what it is you want.

Gratitude

I know many attraction teachers who would say the single most important thing while using the law of attraction is Gratitude.  You have to show the Universe every day how grateful you are.  You have to express your thankfulness and excitement for everything you have and…. here’s the kicker…  Everything you know you’re GOING to have.

When you show the Universe how grateful you are, it continuously gives you more.  It’s like any other person who might be helping you in your life.  The more gratitude you show to people, the more willing they will be to do something else for you in the future when you need it.  It’s the same with the Universe.  When it’s appreciated, it’s so much more likely to continue giving with both hands.

Every day I write in a gratitude journal.  And actually, that’s totally a lie.  I write all my gratitude down, but I write it in…  wait for it…  My Erin Condren Life Planner.  Lol.  I have nothing else to do with my planner’s “daily” pages since I plan my blog stuff on the monthly and my law stuff on Outlook.  But it’s presented itself as the perfect tool to maintain my gratitude journaling.

Future Gratefulness???

I realize it sounds crazy, but the next step is to be grateful for the things you know you’re going to have.  These things that you want out of life: an amazing job, a supportive partner, the perfect body; you have to be grateful for them now.  As if you’ve already achieved them.  Once you express that gratitude, the Universe will follow suit and provide you with exactly those things, simply because you’ve expressed preemptive gratitude as if they’ve already happened.

Affirmations & Visualizations

In addition to gratitude, there are a few other tactics you can employ to help speed up the process of finding your perfect partner.  Affirmations and Visualizations are ways of showing your brain what it’s like to have what you want, and helping yourself live as if you already have it.  Many people have many different types of affirmations.  And really, I can’t tell you what those should be–you have to personalize them to yourself or it won’t be as effective.  You simply have to give yourself a mantra that you can repeat any time of the day, that affirms that you know your perfect life is on its way.  Strike that.  Not that it’s on its way, but rather that it’s already here.

And what’s the best way to convince your whole being this life is already here?  Visualize.  You have to sit quietly as often as possible and think about what it’s like now that your perfect life has arrived.  What is it like to show up home to your partner every night after work?  What does it feel like to have sleepy Sunday mornings together and to have a date every Friday night?  How amazing does it feel to wake up in the middle of the night from a dream and have the steady breath of someone safe sleeping next to you?  I know it’s sometimes difficult to “see” these things in your mind’s eye, but that’s your goal.  You have to see it, smell it, taste it, and feel it.  You have to know exactly what it is your feeling and you have to feel it in every cell of your body right now.

Affirmations are Bullshit–Do the WORK!

Finally, your last “action” task for this month is to do the work.  I know this sounds basic, but there are some law of attraction books and teachings that would tell you to do your affirmations and visualizations and that’s it.  Your perfect partner will drop at your feet within days.  Well, I’m sorry to tell you it’s not that easy.  And why should it be?  Why should the Universe do all the work for you if you aren’t even willing to do it for yourself?

Now, I’m not saying this has to be hard.  Dating should actually be fun.  And, coming from me, anyone who’s been around THD for any length of time knows I used to fairly despise dating in general.  But it should be fun.  Embrace the variety and the feeling that with every date you’re one step closer to your goal.

Doing the work means getting yourself out there.  Work on your wardrobe.  And, make no mistake, this is your wardrobe that you’d want to have and wear with your perfect partner, not just a first date wardrobe.  Put yourself on dating sites and show the you you will be when your partner is in your life.  Go out with friends.  Know your perfect life is here already and you’re already living it.  Know your partner is here already, even if waiting in the wings.  Get rid of things from old boyfriends because you know your partner hates seeing those in your house all the time.  Delete your “emergency” little-black-book numbers because you no longer need them.  Go to parties or coffee shops or trade shows.  Anywhere you know your perfect partner would be.  This is the work when it comes to attracting your BEST relationship.

Conclusion

So there it is.  Part 3 of our four-part series.  Be grateful.  Visualize.  Affirm.  And do.  The.  Work.  You’re there.  You have that new partner you always knew you deserved.  Next month we’ll talk about dealing with any hiccups in the road and you’ll be well on your way to utilizing the law of attraction to your best life.  Until then, happy attracting!  (I would have said “Happy hunting,” but the language in that is ALL wrong! Lol.)