#NewTwistonOldFavorites

We’ve recently been discussing how to attract “The One” with the law of attraction and create the love life you’ve always wanted.  Before The Hungry Dater re-discovered itself, we focused a lot on the dating part of relationships and talked a lot about “surviving” it.  Little did I know, my focus on survival mode meant all the universe handed me was things I had to survive.  Though, it also turned out that by me learning that, I’m now able to teach all of you everything I wish I’d known sooner to make your love life (and your life life) perfection.

Recap

So the last three steps in this series have consisted of 1) making goals and learning your limiting beliefs around them; 2) changing your language to set yourself up to achieve the life you ACTUALLY want; and 3) changing the “language” you both give and receive through media consumption, affirmations, meditation, and visualization.  Really, you now have all the tools you need to create the exact life (and love) you want.  However, there is one major component left that if you don’t know about it, you may never succeed–even with all the tools you now have.  That is the tests you’ll face while your life is changing.

An Object in Motion…

The physical law of motion states that an object in motion wants to stay in motion as that is its current, natural state, and it takes more work to change than it does to continue on.  It’s the same with the energy and trajectory of our lives.  Whatever “motion” a person’s life is already in is easier to maintain than to change.  This includes your singledom.  Becoming a part of a couple rather than being on your own is different.  What we’re discussing here is change.  And that isn’t as easy for the universe.  There’s effort involved.

Testing the Effort

“Effort” is a tiring word for pretty much everyone and everything.  The universe is no different.  So, while the Universe really wants you to have everything you’ve ever wanted, it’s still going to test you in the interim.  You have been telling the Universe for your whole existence that this is “fine” or even “good.”  You’ve been giving the Universe license to be lazy.  You’ve told it you want it this way simply by complying.  By testing your resolve, the Universe is making sure it isn’t expending unnecessary effort.  It’s going to make absolutely sure you mean it this time since you’re essentially changing your story on it.

How do these tests come up?

Tests come in many shapes and sizes.  In the case of relationships, tests can present themselves in several ways.  Some of the most common I’ve experienced (and seen with my private coaching clients) include: 1) the same type of unworthy non-partner being presented to you a few times after you decide to find the right kind of person; 2) timing that forces you to be patient (I had this situation myself with BB since he had just gotten a divorce and wasn’t ready to jump right into another relationship); or even 3) the worst kind of test, self-sabotage from fear.

Anytime you see these situations in your own “new” love life, DON’T. GIVE. UP.  These are simply tests.  You’ve been content with your old life and the Universe is content to continue doing less work to give you contentment.  It’s just making sure you MEAN it.  You have to remember you DO.

Emotion Acceptance

One of the other things that comes up and can feel like a test is emotion acceptance.  We are so used to “being positive,” or “not letting anything bother us.”  “Let it go,” is a very normal and regular thing we say to ourselves when we’re feeling negative emotions.  However, what we don’t understand is the discomfort of these negative emotions teaches us things.  But often, we’re so concerned with “being positive,” that we completely repress these emotions for fear that they’re expressed negativity.  However, when these things are repressed, they aren’t addressed.  You have to address these emotions in order to learn their lessons and move past them.

This can be difficult.  We spend our lives avoiding these negative emotions.  And after Part 3’s lesson, we want to only take in the things that will lift us to where we want to be.

Learn the Lesson and Move Forward

By “accepting” the negative emotions, I’m not suggesting you want to feel them and continue feeling them until you wallow.  You feel them until you accept them, and 9 times out of 10, you’re then able to move on.  And honestly, more often than not, something shifts with that acceptance that removes the negative feeling completely.

And extremely embarrassing example of this is when BB and I first started “talking,” we would often go days without even a text.  (Like I say, he was freshly from a previous relationship and this whole “forever” thing really was new to me.)  After several long, arduous hours filled with repressed low self esteem from not hearing from him; I would then remind myself that it was okay to be sad about things.  I would take a deep breath and allow myself to feel sad, frustrated, or upset that I hadn’t heard from him in however long.  I can’t tell you how many times I would accept those emotions, fully feel them, and move on–only to receive some sort of communication within minutes.  And most of those times that communication would be an hourS long phone conversation (who does that?).

Through those Tests and Emotions is YOUR BLISS

I’m not telling these stories to brag about my new-found relationship.  I’m simply sharing what I’ve learned so that you too can find your own perfection.  None of these things are comfortable.  Tests in relationships can consist of fights, days without speaking, and old “flings” being tossed across your path just to see if you really mean you want something meaningful.  Emotion acceptance can include feeling sad over a man you hardly know, being frustrated because someone you really like is no longer speaking to you, or even feeling so alone you’d rather crawl under your covers and cry than go on yet ANOTHER blind date.  These are all things we experience and all really important lessons for us to learn.

Conclusion

Once you make it through these tests by accepting the emotions and assuring the Universe (and yourself) that you do indeed want a change, the life that waits on the other side will be amazing.  This won’t necessarily be easy, but the process of recognizing these tests for what they are, accepting the emotions that may be associated with them, and moving forward into your new life will, on the other side, seem so amazingly simple you’ll giggle at yourself when looking back.

Love you all!  Happy Cooking!